What to expect when you're not expecting

- 3 mins

What once was regarded as the highest expectation, has metamorphosed itself to a meaningless option and yet, you expect the same result?

Expectations

It’s been almost four months since I’ve ate sushi. I’ve been craving it recently so I thought I’d message some friends and plan a sushi date.

Turns out, a significantly large circle of my friends don’t like sushi.

Expectations. I know better than to have those. Most of the time they lead to disappointment and you only end up hurting yourself. It’s quite simple.

Don’t have expectations = Don’t be disappointed.

Still, I had a small expectation that my closest friend would come through and eat sushi with me. I’d been nagging her for quite a bit and hoping she’d be convinced despite her thoroughly disliking the taste of the intricate delicacy. 😱 That small hope turned into expectation after I compromised food options several times. It was something along the lines of “I compromised a sushi date for pho so now she has an obligation to eat whatever I desire the next time we go out”. Wrong. So utterly, morally, ethically, wrong. In hindsight, it angers and embarrasses me to have such a wicked thought. I went as far as to point it out to my friend and I was angry. There’s four different stages we go through before reaching acceptance. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression. It took me two days to get over the whole situation, angry at my friend, and the world in general but that’s not important. The moral of that story was the slow realization that I was only hurting myself and if I wanted sushi that bad, I should just go out and get it.

I’m sure we’ve all been through similar circumstances. We learn from it, aware not to make the same mistake again. But maybe, once in a while we do and that’s what keeps us grounded.


So what to expect when you’re not expecting?

The first step is knowing there’s nothing holding you back. Dare I say, putting expectations upon others defines one with a inferiority complex? Why expect from others when one can fulfill those desires themselves? Should you fail, you only disappoint yourself but I’ve found that disappointment to be motivating and the result has been a keen perseverance to succeed. Sometimes you fail despite that perseverance but you learn things along the way so not all is lost.

If you should be expecting anything from anyone, it should be you, and only you. That expectation(s) should be used as a motivation to bring about the best within yourself.


The World Does Not Owe You Anything

“Always we hear the cry from teenagers “What can we do, where can we go?””

“Go home, mow the lawn, wash the windows, learn to cook, build a raft, get a job, visit the sick, study your lessons, and after you’ve finished, read a book. Your town does not owe you recreational facilities and your parents do not owe you fun.”

“The world does not owe you a living, you owe the world something. You owe it your time, energy and talent so that no one will be at war, in sickness and lonely again. In other words, grow up, stop being a cry-baby, get out of your dream world, and develop a backbone not a wishbone. Start behaving like a responsible person. You are important, you are needed. It’s too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now and that somebody is you!””

Purnima Mehta

Purnima Mehta

a software developer writing and breaking code

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